New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just forgot I was standing up.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
