I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
