I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize