I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
