"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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