YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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