Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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