Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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