That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
