just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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