New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think my vagina is haunted
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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