She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
