If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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