When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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