Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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