im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
