Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
