Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
