this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
