just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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