Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
