Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Who died my cat blue again?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
