Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Bring me that man meat
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
