im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I am available for nakedness
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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