ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
