so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
