I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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