Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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