allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
