Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
