i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
