you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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