it's like russian roulette but with a penis
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
