That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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