idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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