Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
