She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
