so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
