she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
