You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize