She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
