ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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