I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
