Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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