Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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