I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize