i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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