No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Boobs are out for the taking
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
