I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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