I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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