yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
