I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Randomize
