Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
