We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
