Just mADE A PArabola og urine
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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