so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize