OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
