He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize