How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
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