I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
last night I used snow as a chaser
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