butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
