Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
