If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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