you told grandpa to call you daddy
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Boobs speak an international language.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
