Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize