I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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