hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
cat food counts as protein by the way
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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