windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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