I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
