I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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