Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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