no, he came in my armpit
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
