If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize