I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
