I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
