omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize