Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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