Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
