I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
im holly from the hills drunk
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
