we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Panties = found
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
