I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
