Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
