Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
