he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
