saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
